Political correctness has stripped humourists of the ability to touch on certain topics. That wasn't a complaint. I've heard more than my fill of inane racial and gender jokes. However, it's my understanding that I can still deride Hollywood stars, politicians who lose documents and/or girlfriends, and of course, rich people.
If you're like me, and have beer wishes and hot dog dreams, you rib the rich daily.
When my daughters ask me for money, I retort "Who do think I am, Warren Buffet?" Invariably, they respond "Who's Warren Buffet?" If they were rich kids, they'd likely know.
Chatting about Buffet distracts my girls. They absorb these tidbits the way I absorbed high school physics. In my home, talking about rich old men clears a room faster than asking "Whose turn is it to do dishes?" Heck, even I leave.
But is it fair to bedevil the rich? Are all wealthy people self-indulgent? Do the affluent use chunks of government money to create their own projects only to ask for tax write-offs when they're done? If so, then count me in. You read correctly. I may tease the rich, but I want to be one of them.
I realize I'll be chided for this. Defending the upper crust breaks the unwritten rule which encourages media members to paint all wealthy people with the same brush - one soaked in gold (or oil, depending on which commodity is doing better at the time). But I've met some rich folks and I can say they're not all greedy sloths living off the backs of the poor. Some of them live off the middle class, too.
The truth is I mock the rich because I'm jealous. It'd be nice to have enough money to buy a car outright that isn't older than I am. I'd love to regularly dine in restaurants that refuse to gather servers together to sing to me on my birthday.
If we were honest with ourselves we'd admit we'd like our children to be wealthier than we are.
Some of us desire this so we can eventually move into our kid's home. Others wish for their children to be rich so their kids will eventually move out of theirs.
Whatever a parent's goal may be, we tell our children to go to school, work hard and make something of themselves. This isn't a ploy to keep them away from You Tube and all-night raves. We know that being wealthy affords better options than: "Do you want fries with that burger?"
This may anger some of you. You'll point out that many wealthy people were bestowed money by their parents. So, that's life. If it were me, I wouldn't give it back. Would you? Life just isn't fair. If it was, I wouldn't have tree trunks for legs. Over the years, I've accepted that I'm not a tall, blond model, nor am I rich. But I could be if I wanted to - be blond, that is.
If the affluent didn't receive enough societal jibes before, they should ready themselves. Their businesses are about to be scrutinized. A good product is no longer enough.
On June 23, CNBC aired The Responsibility Revolution. It was part 4 of a 6 part series called The Business of Innovation. In it, experts discussed the emerging necessity for businesses to incorporate good environmental and human rights practices into their companies. Corporations are rebuked for using greenwashing marketing techniques. Customers want companies to prove they care. It's an interesting idea. Many of us don't even grate our own cheese. How many of us will make the time to study Zellers' carbon footprint?
Perhaps this explains why I'm not rich. I've always thought profit was the reason companies were in business. It appears profit may quickly become a bad word. I can hear it now. Elementary students will tattle on each other: "Mr. Warner, Jenny Jamal used the "P" word again!"
If this does happen, we shouldn't punish kids like Jenny too harshly. Because some day your kids might tell their children "Who do you think I am, Jenny Jamal?"
The contents of this article were paid for by Jenny Jamal's billionaire parents. I'm Just kidding, but you were thinking it. Weren't you?
char.adam@mts.net
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