DEAR RHONA: I'm happily married to my wonderful wife of 11 years. We have a good sex life and four kids to prove it but I would like her to be bit more adventurous.
I often feel like I'm her lowest priority. I know a big factor is the physical toll of pregnancy, nursing and all her other motherly duties. I would like her to be more interested in trying my sexual fantasies or even discussing hers. She claims to have few or none. I would never pressure her into anything. What reasonable expectation should I have of activities such as private erotica, couples games, skinny dipping etc. She rarely even wants to discuss the subject so I don't have a good understanding of her feelings. I get the feeling that she mostly enjoys it only for my benefit. -- M
Dear M: Hmm. Four kids and you feel like you are at the caboose? Yup. You are. If your collection of cutie pies is young then there's no doubt your wife has been tugged on, clung to, splattered on and requested to wipe a few dirty bottoms. She's been on call and served all day. Morphing into a relaxed and available playmate is not so easy. So here's the deal: if you want romance, it's not about your technique. It's about time to herself. The sexiest manoeuvres you can muster are ulterior-free back rubs, a regular babysitter or all-day duty on your own. To connect with you she has to disconnect from her duties, especially if you don't want to be one. Then a few weekends away without the gang will be more conducive to fantasy romance and sex. Tell her you miss her company.
www.rhona.com
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